Kurisutaru-Kitsune

When did it first start? When was the first time I watched her strike my brother Threatening to do the same to me If I didn't "straighten up" When did it first start? The first time she called me Over sensative For wearing my emotions on my sleeve Or crying at every little thing Unlike my brother or father Who were all but numb To their emotions When did it first start? The first time she told me I was wrong For the way I felt For being upset That something had occurred Something she'd done That my emotions Were wrong When did it first start? When did she first notice That I clung to toxic people That abusive relationships Were sure to

Back to pain Back to the familiar Allowing my weaknesses To ruin what I do And how I respond Preventing me from reaching out From getting what I want And even what I need I’d hoped I was past this Past the need Past the want Though in reality It was never actually gone It just took a different form Many different forms really Different addictions Different pains Different ways to numb all that I felt Ways to ignore what was going on around me To only focus on myself And my selfish wants Even now As I write this all down Its all out of some sick desire Just some twisted thought in my mind That my pain Is any worse Than anyone else's.

An open road lies before me As open as it may seem Struggles and pain are in my way To show what I may see Your love, your lies, Your petty soul, trick my eyes again My heart, my mind, You tear me down to see What pain I will endure Before I’ll strike back So you will never Hurt another soul Such pain I feel The pain they see I will suffer silently This pain is mine I will insure No one but me Is ever hurt By the one That struck me down To see me die And watch me drown I slit my wrists And starve myself To try to hide me pain That no one else Will ever have to see And never have to feel Because I love you And will not let you be In th

Age? 21 Sex? Female Label yourself (prep, goth, druggie, weirdo, etc.? Druggie, Weirdo, Freak How long have you been cutting? 11 years Favorite tool? Straight edged razor blade. Where (place) do you cut (school, home, etc.)? Wherever I am when I decide I need to. Do you have to hide your whole arm(s) (wrists, forearms, & upper arms, etc.)? I don't have to hide, my family and doctors know, and I am not ashamed of my scars. Do you have to wear long-sleeves & long-pants all the time? I used to, even in 100 degree weather. Not anymore though. I'm not afraid to be seen in a dress or bikini Do you cut on your stomach, or chest? Yes

hard to remember how to live how to sing how to fight hard to remember yesterday when today is so bright with mental reminders to keep moving forward to not give in to not give up those little reminders that hurt your heart that hurt your soul that make you feel like your all alone